


Relativity

by MrMundy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Groundhog Day, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Siebren is exhausted and just wants to be happy, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 06:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21157196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMundy/pseuds/MrMundy
Summary: Siebren de Kuiper wakes up after dying, and realises he has a second chance.And then a third, a fourth, and so many more.He just wants to be happy.





	Relativity

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Frantic, he looks around the room and realises he's in his bedroom at home, and not dead under a pile of rubble with a plethora of dead and dying Talon soldiers. 

He'd revolted against Talon after learning what they'd been doing to him, what they'd been using him for. Had support from a few others, but had been thrown into the collapsing Talon headquarters in Rome by one very angry Doomfist wielder. 

Perhaps he had died. Perhaps this was what the afterlife was like, he surmised, looking down at his hands in the morning light. Untouched by years of work, young and fresh and not wrinkled and thin like he'd last remembered. Slowly, Siebren crawls out of his blankets and goes to lift himself from the floor but fails, instead toppling over himself and landing on the floor with a slam. 

Fingers flex, he tries to move gravity to his will. 

Nothing happens.

He frowns.

He stands, getting to his feet with no trouble despite not wielding his gravitic power. The floor is cool against his feet, something he hasn't focused on in so long. The bathroom door creaks open with the same squeak it's always had, and he stands in front of his mirror for several minutes, unmoving, staring himself in the eyes. He washes his face, taking the time to dry himself with a fluffy, familiar towel.

He's young, barely past thirty-five. His hair is black, and full, and his hairline is where it should be. There are barely any lines on his face - mostly where his mouth creases when he smiles, and the ever-present nasolabial folds he knows will only deepen with age.

He puts a hand under his chin, turning his head to look at himself closer, leaning into the mirror until he slips and bangs his forehead against the glass.

A buzz sounds from his bedroom and he hurries toward it. His phone's screen lights up with an alarm and a note under the notification.

** June 23rd, 2049** : Flight to Lucheng at 1:45 pm

He startles. Silences the alarm and drags his finger down to look at the date, and sure enough, the same date is laid out on the top of his phone's screen. There’s a moment of disbelief while Siebren stares at his screen, squints at it through the bright light it throws his way. Hasn’t he done this all before? Gone to Lucheng, gone to the moon, then onto a space station, gone through hell and back and ended up in Talon’s hands?

Maybe the universe was giving him a do-over. To do better this time, to let him have something better than Talon’s cruelty.

He fidgets, tapping icons on his phone just for something to do. Starts to pace back and forth, drops his phone onto his bed to run a hand through his hair. There’s definitely something strange going on, but he doesn’t want to question it too far in case it gets taken away. He goes for his dresser, pulling out clothes and noting the already-packed suitcase beside it. Knows that his equipment already went to Horizon with the last equipment run they did, that his lab is well-stocked and made up just for him.

What he doesn’t expect, however, is for his phone to buzz again. A message sits on the top of his notifications, and he slides it open after he finishes buttoning his shirt.

Of all people, it’s Harold Winston. His closest friend, his -- Memories flood back from what happened last time, their relationship going from friends into something more, and then promising to get married on Earth, and then Harold’s accident, and he was gone, and Siebren missed him horribly.

He reads the message, and, well - this hadn’t happened last time.

** Harold** : Hey! I’m going to be meeting you when your flight gets to China. Then we get an entire day together before the shuttle takes us to Horizon! I can’t wait to see you, Siebren!!!

He smiles, because he can read it in Harold’s voice and because there’s something sweet about the universe letting him see Harold again in such a way. Before, he had to wait until they were both on Horizon together and the wait had been excruciating. But maybe this time…

Siebren types out a reply, noting his excitement to see Harold again, and checks the time on his phone. Nine am - he has time. But the idea of seeing Harold again, being able to be near him again after what happened last time, fills him with an eagerness he hasn’t felt in so long. 

He grabs his suitcase and heads for the door, loads it into his car and heads out to the airport. He has to get through traffic that seems endless, but he makes it without any problems. He half expected the universe to decide that he doesn’t get this taste of happiness and for something terrible to happen, but he makes it. Amsterdam is a bigger city than where he lives, so he finds things to occupy his time while his suitcase makes its way through the inspections and with everyone else’s belongings to be loaded onto the plane. 

The next several hours pass in a blur. He finds a coffee shop, orders something to keep him awake and settles in with some sweets and before he knows it, it’s one pm and he’s rushing back to the airport to be early. He’s helped onto the flight, finds himself a seat and gets comfortable, and even though he’d downed enough caffeine to keep him awake for days, he falls asleep. He’s awoken by the person next to him nudging him to ask if he wants any food and he says sure, and he talks amicably with them while they eat barely-edible food and joke about the blandness together. And then they’re landing and he has to say goodbye to his new acquaintance, but he doesn’t mind because waiting in casual clothing is Harold, waving him down.

He rushes toward him, and he thinks that he might look a bit like a man greeting his lover after a long time away. And he almost is, but Harold now is just his friend but he hugs him like he always did. Siebren lifts him from the ground with a laugh, and Harold pats his arms as he’s set down again.

“It’s good to see you.” Siebren says, lapsing into Mandarin with no problem, and there’s a sadness in his voice that’s so subtle that Harold doesn’t catch onto. Harold just smiles and lets his hand linger a moment too long on Siebren’s arm. 

“It’s good to see you, too. It’s weird, being back on Earth. Really got used to the way the moon felt.” Harold says, sparing a glance up at the moon, and begins leading Siebren out of the airport and onto the streets where they used to spend time together. They laugh together about their old antics as Harold helps Siebren put his things into his car. They get in together and Harold drives while telling Siebren all about what’s been happening on the colony, and Siebren listens intently even though he already knows it all. 

Arriving at a hotel, Harold explains that the shuttle will be heading out tomorrow night, and that they have time to goof off while in the city. Together, they take Siebren’s things up to the room and he notes the separate beds. 

After they’re settled in and Siebren convinces Harold that he’s fine, that he slept on the flight, they head out into the nighttime markets like they always used to and point out familiar places. There’s one stall that sold a soup Siebren had found out he really didn’t like but Harold had loved, and another that had pork buns that they had shared on one cold night during the lunar new year when they were younger. He remembers distinctly breaking apart the dough and passing half to Harold, who’d immediately tried to shove the entire thing into his mouth and burned himself on the filling. He tells Harold about the memory and Harold laughs, covering his face with one hand.

“We really were something as kids, weren’t we?” He says, and Siebren laughs too.

“We weren’t really kids then, Harold. We were adults.” Siebren corrects, and Harold waves a hand.

“Come on. We were basically kids with adult money and jobs.”

Siebren contemplates his words for a while before nodding.

“I suppose you’re right.”

They meander through the streets, ducking into the stall with the pork dumplings and they get a container of them along with some alcohol and head out for the tables set up inside some of the buildings. It’s nice to smell the fresh food again, Siebren admits, and they each tear into their dumplings and Harold burns himself again. Siebren laughs at him, sliding over his opened drink so he can relieve the pain. Harold pouts at him as he takes a long drink, puffing his cheek out as he stares at him.

“Just like old times, hm?” Siebren says, and Harold rolls his eyes before going for another bite. He blows on his dumpling this time, and the steam from the bite taken out of it fogs his glasses. 

“_ This _ is just like old times,” Harold says, waving the dumpling in front of himself. “I haven’t had one of these in so long. There’s no meat on the colony unless we special-request it during one of the supply runs.” 

“No fish, then?” Siebren teases, and watches the way Harold’s face scrunches up. 

“No, no fish. Onions, yes, but don’t you go taking bites out of raw onion in front of everyone. I don’t need them thinking my best friend is that much of a weirdo.”

Siebren laughs, because he has done just that before, just to freak Harold out when they were younger. He shakes his head, though. 

“I won’t. Promise.” He says, and lays his hand on the table beside the now-empty dumpling container. Harold sighs and does the same, flicking Siebren’s finger with his own. Siebren flicks him in return and suddenly they’re in a childlike fake-battle, flicking each other’s hands until they’re laughing uncontrollably and red in the face. The summer air is warm, and Siebren thinks this will become one of his favorite memories as he watches Harold laugh.

They finally cease their battle, and their hands lay near each other on the table. Siebren looks down, and wonders for a moment if the universe is letting him have this early so he can act earlier, get more time with Harold. He chances it, slides his hand so his fingers touch Harold’s again, and watches with his breath held as Harold’s palm opens up and his fingers grab at Siebren’s, and then they’re awkwardly holding hands across a tiny little table in a night market, faces lit up by pale yellow and red lights around them, insects chirping in the distance.

They say nothing. Harold just smiles up at him and repositions his hand so they’re palm-to-palm, wrists bent and fingers twined together. Siebren exhales a soft, nervous laugh, and brings his free hand to his face to cover his flushed cheeks.

It doesn't feel as though they have to say anything. Siebren already knows how much Harold enjoys his company, knows that they can be so incredibly happy together. He squeezes Harold's hand and meets his eyes, finally, and the lovestruck look in Harold's eyes makes his heart skip, just like the first time he'd seen it.

Too soon - or perhaps not soon enough - they're on their way back to the hotel room and Harold's hand is in his and he feels like he's floating - and he knows the feeling all too well. The silence between them is comfortable, and Harold runs his thumb over Siebren’s hand, holding back his excitement but Siebren can tell what he’s feeling. He’s always been able to. 

Up several floors, their hotel room is quiet, and once they’re behind closed doors, Harold speaks and asks if he’s reading the situation right. With no hesitation, Siebren tells him exactly what he’s feeling - they’re best friends, and he’s wanted to be more for years - and Harold breathes a sigh of relief. Only then does Siebren pull him in and kiss him. Harold kisses back, and it’s the first time he’s done it, but it’s one of many Siebren has shared with him. It’s entirely unlike the first time they kissed before, Harold lunging over a couch in the rec room on Horizon excitedly. No, this time it’s slow and gentle, their hands are touching each other’s arms and sides and faces, sweeping gentle brushes against each other.

It’s nearly two in the morning when they go to bed, still kissing, taking one bed instead of separate ones. They do more than kiss, and Siebren is happy to hear Harold’s pleasure-wrought voice and oh, how he’s missed that sound. Siebren curls up around Harold, tucks him in close to his chest and sighs, kissing the top of his head. Harold’s hand is clasped in his and they both wear sleepy smiles as they doze, until finally falling into deeper sleep beside each other. 

The next day they head to Lucheng together, and get situated in with Horizon’s shuttle around five pm. It’s a three-day trip, Harold explains, and Siebren smiles and says that he knows, he’s done his research beforehand. They help load the supplies onto the shuttle, checking equipment for any problems. Five rolls around and they’re ready to go, dressed in the correct uniforms and hopping into the shuttle together. They share a look, keeping things professional, and wave at the woman sending them off. Last time, Siebren had flirted with her for something to take the anxiety of the trip away. This time, he doesn’t need to. He has Harold, and he knows how the trip plays out. 

Once they’re up high enough and breaking the atmosphere and going into weightlessness, Siebren revels in it. He adores the feeling of being weightless, of having no gravity to bind him. He floats, comfortable, and Harold laughs at how relaxed he is. 

“A natural at this, huh?” Harold teases, and Siebren smiles.

“I’m a quick learner,” He replies, and Harold waves a hand.

“I already knew that, if last night was anything to go by.” There’s a distinct flush to his cheeks as he says that.

They go quiet together. Harold floats closer to Siebren, takes his hand and brings it to his lips.

“I’m happy to have this with you.” Harold smiles. Siebren smiles back, and he knows there are cameras in parts of the shuttle but he can’t bring himself to care as he leans in to kiss Harold, just something quick and gentle.

“I’m happy to be with you.” He replies, and puts his hand on Harold’s cheek. For minutes, they sit, entranced by each other and basking in the closeness. The next day passes without event, and they eat the food provided for them on the shuttle after waking up from a restful sleep, hands clasped together.

Halfway through their trip, something goes wrong. The shuttle malfunctions, and Harold and the pilot try desperately to fix it. Siebren panics, cursing the universe as the lights go out and Harold returns to him. Siebren wraps his arms around him and whispers that he loves him into his ear and Harold clings to him with a desperate, terrified grip. They hold each other as the air leaks from the shuttle, and then it goes dark.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Siebren's hands press against his eyes and he feels tears, hot and wet, streaming down his cheeks. He's in his bedroom again, his phone reads the same date as the first time he'd woken up again. 

Frustrated, he goes through the motions again. Gets on his flight to Lijiang, spends time with Harold. Kisses him again, and urges the team to look over the shuttle further before they head out. They find the problem then, putting their trip a day back. Siebren soaks up the time with Harold, and they spend another night in a hotel room where they barely sleep, taking advantage of their time in other ways. 

He ends up with bruises on his neck and thighs that he hides with the uniform, and Harold bears matching ones. 

This time, the shuttle functions properly. They get to Horizon with no complications, and Siebren is grateful for it. He drinks in the comfort of Horizon's halls, greeting little Winston with excitement. Winston grows attached to him quickly.

Harold asks Siebren how his research is going. Siebren doesn't want to admit that he already knows how to control gravity. He makes up an excuse, saying that he needs some extra equipment to properly test, and Harold says that they have the ability to get the equipment he needs. Siebren can't avoid it, so he says yes, and within months the equipment is brought to the colony and Harold and the other scientists are excitedly awaiting Siebren's results.

He creates a black hole. Shows it to them, and they marvel at it. He thinks he has it under control until his tools slip and suddenly everything is lost to the warping and pulling of a black hole.

He's the cause of the tragedy this time. He feels guilty until he feels nothing at all.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. 

He repeats everything. This time, he doesn't make the same mistake. He he stays with the scientists, stays on the colony and encourages them to supplement the apes with more to reduce their anger. 

It doesn't work. This time, he and Harold find themselves being pushed from an airlock together. They don't let go of each other until the emptiness of space pulls them apart.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. He decides that this time around, he’s going to go in a different direction and see if he can prevent both himself and Harold from getting hurt. He turns off his phone the moment he realises he’s awake and drops it into his dresser drawer. Pulls on some clothes and grabs his keys from the top of the dresser and heads to his car.

It starts without a problem. He sighs and starts driving.

There’s no place he’s heading in particular. He just drives. Stops somewhere to get coffee, and continues on. 

Maybe, he thinks, this time things will go okay. Maybe he’ll get a chance at living longer than a few years, and maybe Harold will be fine. He can’t help but think back on his phone left at home, of the messages Harold is probably sending, frantic, asking if he’s going to be ready to go. If he’s going to make it to his flight.

Lost in thought, he doesn’t see the light change.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. He stands from his bed and grabs his phone, silencing the alarm before it can go off. Running a hand through his hair, he makes a face at the texture, sweaty and unclean. Jumps into the shower and cleans himself off, gets dressed and decides to go meet Harold again. He leaves a little later than the first time, and gets to the airport just on time before he realises he’s left his suitcase with his casual wear. It doesn’t matter, though, he has the uniforms ready for him in Lucheng’s supplies.

The flight is easy. He sits next to a kind man around the same age as him, and they talk about the people they miss.

He gets to China and Harold is there with his car, just like the previous times, and they go out into the markets again. They hold hands again and Siebren kisses him in the summer air before getting a very stupid idea in his head.

It’s very stupid.

It would probably get them both killed, but to hell with it. If he’s going to have to keep living over and over, maybe the solution is in some outlandish idea that seems crazy right now.

“Harold,” He says, nudging Harold’s nose with his. “We should go.”

“Back to the room?” Harold says, his hands on Siebren’s arms. Siebren shakes his head.

“No, I mean… This is going to sound fake,” He says, pulling back to look Harold in the eyes. “I’ve been reliving everything over and over.”

“Like that cheesy Christmas movie?” Harold asks, and he nods. Presses his lips to Harold’s forehead. Harold hums, putting his hands on Siebren’s face. “This does feel familiar. Very familiar.”

“I’ve lived this so many times already.” Siebren explains. “I’ve -- I’ve seen how things turn out when I do nothing. I want to do something. I want to have more time with you.”

“What, do we always end up…” Harold doesn’t finish his sentence. Siebren frowns.

“Something always happens. I want… I want something to go right. I’m _tired_, Harold.” The truth behind his eyes makes it convincing. Harold leans up and kisses him. 

“Then what do you want to do?” He asks, and Siebren takes a deep breath.

“Let’s just go.” Siebren says. “Let’s go… Somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere but Horizon.”

“Does Horizon end badly?” Harold says.

“It always does.” Siebren says, simply. 

“Then let’s go.” The words shock Siebren. He didn’t expect Harold to go along with it, much less so easily. “If you’ve lived this so many times, you deserve something good. Let’s go.”

He takes Harold’s hand in his and they go to his car, start it, and head out. Harold says something about missing Winston, and Siebren feels a pang of guilt. They get onto a main road and just drive, drive until they reach a new town and hit a hotel that they can stay in. Inexpensive food is bought and brought up to the room and they share, and Harold looks like he’s torn on the situation. He sets down his chopsticks and leans back onto his hands, sighing.

“Feel guilty?” Siebren asks. Harold nods slowly.

“Only because I miss the little guy. Winston means so much to me.” He says. 

“Maybe one day we’ll get something where we can all be a family.” Siebren suggests. Harold reaches over, puts a hand on his. 

“I’d love that. Raising a family with you.”

“Harold,” Siebren breathes, and reaches for him for the millionth time. They kiss, tasting like cheap food and cheaper drinks, falling onto the floor together. Siebren never expected to have sex with Harold on the floor of a cheap hotel, but fate seems to have chosen that route for him. They lay together afterward, dazed and smiling, and Harold presses up against Siebren’s chest. They kiss again, content, and Siebren falls asleep on the hard floor with the man he loves more than anything close to him, lips pressed against his collarbone.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Siebren stares around the room and remembers what happened next, after they’d left the hotel, and feels sick. He lunges from the bed and to his bathroom, and then cleans himself up. Tears come naturally after that, and he sobs on his bathroom floor for an hour before getting up again. 

He just wants to be happy.

Why can’t he be happy?

He curses the universe and sets himself onto the path to getting his gravity fluxing powers again, making it several years, up until the ape rebellion on Horizon. Then he gets into an accident and it starts over again, and he ends up more frustrated this time around.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute.

Again.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. 

Again.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute.

And again. He gets frustrated with how many times he lives these lives. Sometimes he barely gets to see Harold. Other times, he makes it through to live through his accident. He touches gravity. 

It carries over into the next life after he achieves it thrice in a row. Perhaps it's a reward for his tenacity. It's explained in the first life he has it as an anomaly at his birth, the thin lines near his eyes giving away his power. 

His end this time around comes at the hands of Talon wanting him before he has a chance to reattune himself to his power. It's the geneticist who does him in, pushing him too far in a body not yet used to the strain of gravitic flux. 

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute.

He can't figure out what he's doing wrong. He curses the universe, dreams of cryptic stars and floating in the dark of space. Begs to be told what he needs to do, what he needs to prove. He knows the universe can hear him - he's regained the melodies, hears the whispers of the secrets of space itself in his mind. 

So he begs, still, in his bedroom at thirty-five years old. Thirty-five plus what hundreds he's gone through already. It doesn't feel right to say he's thirty-five.

The universe laughs.

_ Do it right, _rings a voice in his head.

_ Do it right. _

Do what right?

Desperate, he claws at the edges of the universe. It laughs again.

_ Do it right. _

** _Do it right._ **

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. He tears himself from his bed and yells, frustrated. How many times has he lived through this? How many more must he endure? 

Does the universe hate him?

At least let me be happy, he begs. The universe seems to contemplate, putting pressure against his brain in the quiet of his bedroom. Siebren wants to cry, and finds that he already is crying, tears soaking into his shirt. He hiccups, and he thinks it must be strange for a man of his age ( how old was he, now, three hundred? Five? More? ) to be a broken mess like he is.

The universe hums to him. Makes music in his head that he understands as communication, and he begs it to let him have something just this once. The pressure recedes, and he hears a whisper of a promise.

Then everything goes dark.

He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. This time, he wakes up and it’s in a darkened room, and he looks beside himself to see Harold asleep next to him. He doesn’t know how he got here, doesn’t know the situation. But he feels tears well up when he sees Harold, and he curls up around him. Harold leans into his touch, making a content sound, and Siebren tucks his teary face against his hair.

The following morning, he gets up with Harold and realises they’re both on Horizon again, and this time the apes are well-behaved. Winston greets him, climbs onto his arm and laughs, and Siebren ruffles his fur.

This feels right, he thinks. This feels good.

He works with Harold, realises he’s been helping with the genetic testing. They share kisses throughout the day, and he’s never been so happy. Harold nudges their noses together and kisses the tip of his nose, and Winston makes a delighted noise upon seeing it. 

Weeks pass. Months pass. Soon, years have passed. Harold sleeps next to him every night, and they make love nearly every night. Siebren can’t even begin to count the reasons he’s so happy. He’s happier than he’s ever been in any of the previous lives. His powers make work easy, too - lifting things too large for either of them, and giving him ways to sneak up on Harold and Winston both.

Winston grows rapidly. Siebren is proud to watch him turn into an adult, watching how his intellect grows and soon he rivals Harold and Siebren both. They treat him like their son, congratulate him on his achievements, and he helps them in the labs.

And then it happens.

Siebren should have expected it. Should have expected tragedy. 

It’s in the lab, and he’s with just Harold. They’re looking at something of Siebren’s work, his astrophysics work, and from nowhere the equipment renders his work unstable. He grabs onto Harold’s arm when the black hole erupts and begins tearing through the lab, unrestrained, and Harold holds onto him in return. Time slows, and they’re staring at each other for a hundred years before it goes dark again.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Harold sits up beside him, his hair plastered to his forehead and eyes wide. Their eyes meet and unspoken words pass between them before Harold throws himself into Siebren’s arms, tucking his face against his neck. They’re on Horizon again, and it’s just after Siebren arrives every time. Harold leans back and stares into his eyes.

“I remember,” he says, and Siebren wants to cry. 

“Everything?” Siebren asks, and Harold nods.

“The first time, with the uprising. And the second time, with you, the shuttle, the…” Harold rambles, and Siebren lets him. Runs his hands through his hair and kisses his forehead.

They sort it out quickly after that. The universe hums to both of them, and Harold flexes his fingers. 

In front of his hand, a small opening in reality rips into existence. Harold touches it, and Siebren does as well. It’s cold, colder than anything he’s ever felt and yet somehow it’s pleasant and comfortable. Harold swings his hand in a larger arc and it opens a larger hole, and they scramble up to step through it together.

And then they’re floating, standing in the middle of a vast darkness, surrounded by stars and planets they’ve never seen, galaxies they don’t know the names of in the distance. The humming is louder.

_ Now I have two _, the universe whispers. Siebren jolts.

_ Now I have two to listen to me, it says. _ Harold stares, wide-eyed, at the stars around them that pulse with the voice in their heads.

_ Do things right _ , it tells them. _ Do things right this time, and I’ll let you be happy. _

Siebren wants to ask what it means when he and Harold are plunged into darkness again.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Harold throws himself over the bed to hug him, and Siebren clings to him. They curl up with each other, a million questions in their heads but not a single answer to any of them. 

They don’t know what it is the universe wants. They’re scared to ask, for fear of being reset again. 

They go through the motions of Horizon’s days, working with the other scientists and helping the apes grow. Winston shows promise like he always does, and they make progress. 

There’s no way for them to prevent the uprising, though. 

The universe tuts at them as they realise their mistake.

Again.

And again.

So many more times.

They’re tired by the third time just as they’re tired by the next twenty.

They lose count of how many times the universe forces them to start over.

  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute.

Harold is beside him. They tangle their fingers together and squeeze, a gentle comfort between the universe’s temper tantrums.

“I have an idea,” Harold says, and Siebren tilts his head. A hole is ripped open in the fabric of the universe by Harold’s hand, and they step through. The universe sings, whispers things to them in gentle tones. Harold, though he’s floating in the airless vacuum of space, puts his foot down and stares up at the stars. They reflect against his dark brown eyes, and Siebren is enraptured by the sight for several moments. 

“Listen,” Harold says, and neither of them question why they’re able to breathe or why he can be heard, “We’re doing the best we can. What do you want from us?”

The universe makes a confused sound. Siebren squints.

“Surely you want something,” He says, and watches the colors of the galaxies in the distance coil around each other like great leviathans of dust. The universe whispers conflicted feelings to them.

“Do you just want company?” Harold asks. Siebren never thought about that, and the thought makes sense to him.

Every time he focused more on something else, the universe forced him to start over.

The galaxies turn a guilty shade of green.

“Try keeping us around for longer,” Harold says. “We won’t forget your presence.”

The universe makes another sound, this time reverberating in their heads, knocking their thoughts around. The stars go dark, and they know what comes next.

  
  


He wakes up with his forehead drenched in sweat and his heart beating a mile a minute. Memories flood his head, and he glances to his left. Harold is awake, as well, though he looks barely an adult, young-faced and bright-eyed. They stare at each other for several long moments before Siebren throws himself over Harold, kissing his face repeatedly. They laugh, and happy tears roll down their cheeks.

Siebren leans over Harold and stares at his face, takes in the way he looks. He knows the start of this timeline - they met as children, inseparable since day one, and now it’s three days before Harold’s eighteenth birthday. He looks so young, and Siebren can’t believe he gets a life where he gets to grow up with Harold beside him.

They take a different path, this life. Harold realises that he loves teaching - always has, had a lot of fun with it with Winston - and starts on the road to becoming a teacher for young children. Siebren does the same, except his qualifications run toward the older generation, teaching university classes. 

They get married. Actually get married, and lie awake in their yard after their guests have gone home, in their suits with their wedding bands glinting in the starlight. The universe seems to laugh as they share kisses under its light.

Their jobs go swimmingly. Harold makes a comment that he wishes he could see Winston in this life as he watches the news of Horizon being built, and Siebren provides that if the universe wants them to be happy, perhaps it will allow them that gift.

Years pass, and they decide that if this life is going to go this well, they may as well start a family, just like they’d said so many lifetimes ago. They go together to get qualified for adoption and stumble upon a little boy with big brown eyes and too-large glasses and Harold knows him immediately.

“Hey, kiddo,” He says, getting himself down to the child’s height. “Welcome home.”

Winston joins their family as their son, with the same curiosity he always holds. 

Harold teaches Winston in his class until he’s off to primary school, and they watch him grow up with pride in their hearts. Siebren is a good father, Harold figures out, and his heart warms every time he sees Siebren reading with Winston before bedtime. They’re good parents together, even with their strange universe-bestowed powers.

Siebren returns from Winston’s bedroom with a book under his arm, and he leans down to kiss Harold before they, too, make their way to bed. There’s no rush in their actions, however, knowing that they have an eternity together.

  


Siebren is proud of Winston when he graduates. Harold cries, and the lines on his face are a relief for Siebren to see. The grey in his hair makes him look more handsome, he thinks, and the crows feet by his eyes are a sign that they’ve gotten so far.

The universe is quiet. 

It has been for years.

  


He wakes up, relaxed and content, and rolls over to face Harold. He lays beside him, deep in sleep, a smile drawn across his lips. Siebren puts a hand to Harold's hair, stroking through the ever-spreading grey. Stares intently at the age lines across his face and it makes his chest swell with happiness to know he's beside him. 

The light through the window catches the wedding band on his finger. He lays his hand on Harold's face, scooting closer to kiss his forehead.

They're happy, and growing old together, and that's all he can ask for.

The universe hums, happy.

Siebren hums as well, and Harold smiles more.

He wakes up. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey tell me if this was a good fic or not, because it's definitely not in my normal writing style
> 
> i really went out of my way to hurt my favorite grandpa  
but only because i love him  
:')


End file.
